When we were kids we used to hate it when we came home from school and Mum said "I've been thinking..." She always did this while she was doing the ironing and it generally meant we were in trouble for something we thought we had got away with. Today I did the ironing and "I've been thinking.." A friend of some 20 years is in hospital battling with the final stages of cancer. She has not had an easy life but she has always grabbed opportunities with both hands and run with it, she has a zest for life that is hard to equal. I don't know if you have ever known anyone who always seems to get the "muddy" end of the stick but this friend has.
This got me thinking about my life. I have had the "ideal" life with only one major hiccup, that of loosing my father way too soon. My memories of my childhood are pleasant and as an adult my life has been happy and healthy. My husband, daughter, son-in-law, grand-daughter and all of my siblings and their families are healthy with no major life problems. Ray & I worked and saved hard for the first 20 years of our marriage and were lucky enough to be able to retire at 42. Since then we have been pursuing our hobbies and doing the things we have wanted to do. A dream life.
But today I was thinking what do I really want to do with the rest of my life? I know it is probably a question that we all ponder from time to time and we all have friends or relatives that pass on and make us take stock of our lives. Today is one of those days for me and I am sad to say I could not come up with an answer. We build a life and we surround ourselves with so many "things/people" that it becomes just about impossible for us to do exactly what we want. We have to consider our immediate family and do not want to leave our extended family and friends behind to set off in a new direction, and of course the ever present thought that we need to ensure we are "set-up" for our old age, makes us a bit hesitant to burn our bridges. But who knows if we will have an old age? Should life be for living in the moment with little regard for the future. Let the future take care of itself? I guess it is how we answer these questions that makes us who we are.
Ahh well I will keep thinking about things and by doing that I find that things generally change slowly and a new plan forms.
Till next time
Cheers
Julie
Oh Julie. Having a friend facing a serious illness really does put life in perspective, doesn't it? We went through a similar thought process a couple of years ago when DH's best mate passed away from bowel cancer, age 42. It was such a shock, and I had exactly those thoughts that you articulate in your post. I send you and your friend warm thoughts.
ReplyDeleteso sorry to hear of your friends illness Julie .... sending lots of love and healing energy to you .... hugz x
ReplyDeleteI know what loss is.. my son was killed at age 22 and I miss him so much each and every day .. I have truly evolved from this journey and feel more peace now than I have ever have in my life ... take care xo